Part Quatre

Be more receptive to people who reach out and try and reach out to people more. When it comes to talking to friends its never to late and its never too early.

This is going to be a hard one. Because this is something which I have sucked at for so long. Am I better than where I was last year? I would like to think so. But am I where I want to be? Probably not. I have never been a “people’s person” or rather that is the false narrative that I have been telling myself for the larger part of my life. When I moved to a new country I made up this story in my head that I have to drown myself in work at all costs. Sacrificing friends, relationships under the false pretext of being “busy”. Now I understand that it is a just a self serving selfish excuse that I was giving myself for doing efficient work maybe but probably not effective work. Relationships are something that you have to nurture. Whether it is your family, friends or your significant other if you just let it be then in my opinion you are missing out on a very rewarding and essential experiences of life. Reminds of the analogy Stephen Covey gave in his book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Think of your relationships like a bank account where you make a deposit by doing something to nurture it and a withdrawl by just letting it be or fighting/arguing etc. So make sure that you make a lot deposits because those withdrawls do happen. Any two people whatever the relationship will argue. There are no two ways about. Just try and make sure that your balance does not go into negative and you will be alright.

Give vulnerability a shot.

In the past I have told myself that I do not understand relationships. Probably an excuse to take the easy way out. While living here in Australia I had/have lost contact with some of my closest friends back home. I was never there for them when they needed me. So this can be thought of as me apologising to them. A long overdue intervention by my best friends ( Hamesh, Anirudh, Lohit, Nitish that was a fun night ) put me right back in the place. You can have all the successes in the world, all the money, the fanciest things but if you have no one to share them with , pardon my french, it sucks. I cannot thank my friends enough for giving me what is probably the 100th chance. I don’t think I have made amends completely yet but I sure am on the right track. And to be honest it does not take long to let someone know that you are thinking of them. A simple message, a conversation that lasts a minute is often more than enough. And when you find friends that do not leave your side even when you have been an ass you better hold on to them. Because you are one of the luckiest people.

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

As I write this I am thinking of so many amazing people I have lost touch with. So many people I wish to say a hello to, to tell them that I genuinely wish they get whatever they want in life. Every morning I relfect on a past relationship that I have had. That friend I “forgot” about. I write down how they positively influenced me and how they were there for me. It is such a simple and easy way to be grateful in your life and on a plus side it does bring back so many good memories. I have talked to some of my friends after 3–4 years and it has been like we never stopped talking. My point being that it is not that hard. Take that first step. Pick up the phone and give them a call. It is such an amazing feeling reconnecting with someone. There are still so many people that I am yet to talk to, so many people to thank for befriending this weird kid who always felt a little out of the place. For letting him know that it is okay to be weird, that it is even being weird together. For calling on my bullshit, being my worst critic and greatest supporter.

Life is short and fleeting. Joy is multiplied when shared and the sorrows are divided. Take a minute out of your “busy” day to say hello to someone you have not talked to in a while. Have that conversion that you have been putting off for tomorrow. I am going to paraphrase from an essay that I read a while back. When I am on deathbed ( that took a morbid turn ) I will probably not be thinking/wishing that I worked a little bit more. Or maybe I will but I will surely be yearning for another story by Anirudh, another converstation about life with Lohit, loads of bakhchodi ( banter mate ) with Nitish, watching my brother dance one more time, watching a movie with Maggie, laughing with my family and saying thank you to all my friends once more for being there. On that note and with a resolve to be a better friend I will end this and pretend that I am cutting an onion.